ADVICE FOR MEN

Women are not like men. Many men forget that, when they enter into a romantic relationship. Women look at things differently and their choices are different. Men miss small patterns of behavior many times that can make them a big success with women. In this section, we talk about what men need to know about relationships with women to succeed and what are the common pitfalls that have to be avoided to get the woman of your dreams.

WOO HER WITH FLOWERS

Women and flowers have a love-love relationship since ages. Emperors used to order development of flower gardens just for their queens. Flowers are the eternal symbols of love. On your first date, take a bunch of flowers for your date. These need not be too expensive. Don’t take red Roses. Take yellow Roses instead if you wish to take Roses. You can take lots of other flower varieties like Tulips, Lilies, Asters, etc. Pick up a fresh, good looking bunch and present it to her.

On your second/third date, when you think you are serious about her, woo her with Orchids - which are considerably expensive. Women always love flowers. So you will be in her good books!!

CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD YET

Many men think that there is no place for chivalry these days. Girls may insist that they are independent and prefer doing things themselves. But being a little chivalrous at times never hurts. Every girl likes being treated specially. So opening the car door for your girl or pulling the chair back for her somewhere always earns you brownie points. Your girl will love you for the attention.

ARE YOU A NICE GUY

How would you describe yourself- a nice guy or adventurous, funny, alpha male? It is important to find out how people perceive you? What women think about you? Why am raising this issue- because it may matter a lot when you are asking a woman for a relationship with you. While talking, you may find that women say that they prefer a nice, home loving guy, but look around carefully. Think about which of your friends got a woman of their choice- was that friend known as a nice guy or something else? There may a subconscious appeal for adventurous guy in a woman. Or she may be looking for somebody more different- most popular guy, a sportsman, a funny guy, a strong man and so on.

Do not get blinded by what the woman you desire says. Find out what she REALLY wants. That may be different than the description she gives.

IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Relationships are complex things, but following these basics will help you make your relationships healthy and strong.

When in doubt, listen first and check to see if you have understood the other person by asking them questions. Often relationships go awry when people feel they aren’t being heard or understood and sometimes it’s important just to listen. You have to know what they want, not what you think is good for them. Listening is what helps us to find connection with each other. This also means you need to tell others what you really feel, think, and want. You can’t feel connected if you don’t voice these things.

Communicate simply when it is most critical that they hear you. Get clear in your own mind what kind of outcome you would like and try to state it in the most simple and specific terms. You will more likely be understood the more clear you can be, and often that means fewer words, not more. Sometimes repetition is necessary in getting through to someone what is really important to you.

Always show respect. Respect means listening, accepting a no when you are given one, not taking them for granted, being honest in your dealings with them, and not criticizing often or discouraging them. It is also important that you do not try to control others, and just as important that you show respect to yourself and ask that they treat you the same or be willing to walk away.

Know when it isn’t a healthy relationship. Just because you care about someone doesn’t mean you should be in a relationship with them at this time. They should be good for you, not addicted to anything, not controlling or abusive in any way, and make you feel secure and happy. It is not possible to make a relationship work with someone who doesn’t care about you, or who abuses a substance or you, so don’t try.

Seek to be good for others and don’t tear them down. People like to be with those who make them feel good and who are good for them. Lighten up and have fun together and your relationship will grow.