Deeply understand your partner

1. Deeply understand your partner

Several weeks ago, a woman told me that after a few months of marriage her husband hated kids. A man wrote to me to say that he discovered several years into his marriage that his wife had been in prison.

I believe a lot fewer couples would get divorced if they actually knew each other before they got married (or even afterwards). The best way to really know someone is with questions.

Questions about money, careers, the past, sex, religion, kids to name a few. The big questions in life that make all the difference and often remove conflict before it arises.

Money, Children and Sex

• Do you think you could ever give up your current life and move half way around the world for someone you love or for a perfect job?
• Do you think life insurance is a wise “investment”?
• At this stage in your life, do you think you would prefer having children or being child-free?
• Do you think your feelings might change?
• Are you a virgin? If so, do you plan on staying one until you are married?

Home and Origin

• How do you feel about friends, relatives or people in need living in your house for a year?
• Where do you think you would be most comfortable living?
• City or country?
• Near the beach or closer to the mountains?
• Hot, warm or cold climate?

Religion, The Past and Fears

• Are there any types of pets that you refuse to live with (snakes, rats, stray dogs, etc?
• Do you have any phobias, fears or concerns about going to the doctor?
• Do you support (with money and/or time) any charities or causes?
• Do you believe in God?
• What were you raised to believe about religion?
• What were you teased about when you were younger?
• How did that make you feel? Did you tease others?

These questions are just the tip of the iceberg. There are hundreds and hundreds more questions that MUST be asked to really know the person you love and to ensure you stay happily marriage for years to come.

Real Love: What is Real Love?

Most people would love to have “real love,” yet often they have no idea what real love is. Take a moment to think about how you would define real love.

Defining love is like defining a particular color to a person who has never been able to see color – you have to feel it know what it is. The reason it is hard to define real love is because you cannot experience it with your mind, and definitions are of the mind. Real love is a feeling that is the result of your intention to BE LOVING.

This very different than the intention to BE LOVED. The desire to be loved comes from the ego wounded part of ourselves, the part that believes we need to get love from others in order to feel filled and worthy – that real love is something we get rather than something we are and something we share.

This is what creates the confusion regarding love.

Real love is what you are – what your soul is – a spark of the Divine within. Love is what God/Spirit is. When your deepest desire is to be loving to yourself and others, this desire opens your heart and you become filled with the love that is as ubiquitous as the air you breathe. This is real love – the experience of Spirit that fills the emptiness within and lets you know that you are never alone.

Real Love in a Relationship

What about real love with another person? How do we know when we are experiencing real love?

Real love is what we experience when two or more people come together with open hearts already filled with love, and the love from their hearts overflows as it is openly and joyously shared.

If you come to a relationship with a feeling of emptiness and unworthiness, you cannot experience real love. Real love is not the cake – it is the icing on the cake. The cake needs to be the love that comes through you from Spirit, and the icing is the love you share with another or others.

If you expect another’s love to be the cake, then you will not experience real love, because you are coming from a closed heart and inner emptiness. REAL LOVE DOES NOT NEED ANYTHING FROM ANOTHER PERSON. It is like a waterfall flowing down inside from Spirit, filling the lake within and then flowing out in rivers and streams as it is shared others. However, when the heart is closed, then the lake is empty and becomes like a bottomless sinkhole, desperately attempting to suck love, attention and approval from others.

If you want to experience real love within a relationship, then you need to open – through your desire to BE LOVING – to unconditional love coming through you. You need to invite God-which-is-Love into your heart and become filled with it.

The challenge here is that you cannot desire to GET LOVE and BE LOVING at the same time. The intent to get love will always lead to a closed heart and controlling behavior, which shuts out love. The intent to be loving and to learn what is loving to yourself and others in any given moment is what opens the heart. When you choose the intent to be loving with yourself and others, you will experience real love.

LOVE PERSONALITY?

WHAT IS YOUR LOVE PERSONALITY?????????
It is an obvious fact that we can learn and know what true love is. What we are often not aware of though, is that there are different love trends. Does it even matter if we understand love trends? If we are in a happy relationship, then that means it is all fine, right? Yes and No. Although, your love with your partner might run smoothly for a while, it can take a turn we often never expect. This is why knowing about love trends is helpful.

What may have turned you or your partner on at first, might not be a turn on later. How is this possible if they seemed so crazy over certain things before? The reason is quite simple and reasonable. When we first get involved with people, the attraction and lust is so strong (not that it would not be later), that the way one seduces the other is not truly focused on, but simply instantly appreciated, since they are so drawn to one another.

As the relationship proceeds and the bond builds, you will start getting in touch with your own style of loving and expecting your partner to match up to it. At times, this will be just the case. Couples can share the same love trend, but at other times, they can differ. If your trends do differ, do not look at it as negative, but as a way to combine them and form a creative love trend together. It should not be one way or the other. There is no such thing as the wrong way to love, except for obsession, controlling and abuse, of course-which is not love anyway, although some feel it is.

How do you even come about recognizing the love personality of yours or your partners? It is not difficult, but does require quite a bit amount of observation. Start by making notes of your romantic qualities and ideas of what great romance, sex and seduction is to you. Do you like walks on the beach and dining at cozy, romantic restaurants? Or do you like setting up your sexual activities by setting up a scene and playing along with it, or just going with the flow? By knowing what trend you follow, you will then be introduced to your romantic identity and know what you need from your partner.

There are several types of love trends that you should know about. It will help you come to a deeper understanding of what type of lover you are and your partner as well. People, whose personalities follow the emotional trend, are lovers who pay attention more to the meaning behind things, instead of the thing itself. A man who does not really care for picnics on the beach may still love the event due to the intention behind it. He sees the effort his mate put into it and sees the love and caring meaning that his mate had when the idea was thought of and planned. Emotional lovers are sensitive and love sharing with their partners and are also very spiritual. They do not hold back from expressing their true feelings.

A Creative trend follower on the other hand, may have some of the same traits as an emotional lover, but focuses more on discovering new things and trying them out, taking risks for a bigger thrill. They love to plan and be a part of interesting activities with their lovers because they like going through adventures and new territories together. These types of lovers are found to be quite exciting because they seem to be more mysterious and full of surprises and imagination.

Then you have the traditional trend follower, who likes to follow the rules of what society considers the right way to handle a relationship. They believe in having one partner, following the dating and romance guides to the point (bringing a girl some flowers when picking her up at the door for a date, just to mention one). They also believe in being organized, being financially responsible and planning the events that will take place in their lives with their partners.

Those are the main trends that most people fall into following. This does not mean that a person who has a certain love trend cannot carry qualities from other trends, however. It just means they in general carry that love personality. There is no trend better than the other either. Each trend is unique and interesting in it�s own way. When two people follow the same trend, it is fabulous because they both know exactly what the other is fond of and what to expect as well. There are hardly mixed signals. Having different trends is also a wonderful thing. When a couple has their individual love personality, it opens the door for each one to learn new ways to love expressions and can create a great trend combination!

Your Love Back

Winning Your Love Back

Do you want to win your love back? Are you sad that your partner has broken up and do you want their love again? My advice is that unless you are very sad do not try that. If you think that life is becoming difficult without your partner then let us see what you can do.

Reflect upon the period preceding the breakup. Did you change towards your partner? Were you less attentive or less loving? Were you taking your love for granted? Think about all the mistakes you may have committed. If you find that you were not the reason, then better give up the idea. You can only do something about lost love, if you caused it. If you find that you were probably the reason then arrange a meeting and apologize for all your mistakes. Promise never to do same thing again. You may probably win your love back.

Break-Up Tips

Dating Again After Break-Up
‘How soon do I begin dating again after the break-up? I still think of my ex and am afraid of getting hurt again.’ Such questions are common after a break-up. Give yourself some time after a break-up. Don’t think of dating for a while. Pamper yourself and bring peace in your mind. Indulge in your hobbies. After you feel more comfortable with yourself, think of dating again.

Forgetting A Broken Relationship

Forgetting the relationship after a break-up is difficult. Our mind tends to go back and analyze, but that gives more pain. One should just drop the whole period of relationship from the mind. As if it never existed. Sounds difficult, but if you try it, you can do.

5 Gifts You Can Give To Your Lover

5 Gifts You Can Give To Your Girl
If you are confused about what you should gift to your girl, try gifting any of the following:

1. Perfume
2. Handbag
3. Watch
4. Makeup set
5. Shoes

Good luck!

5 Gifts You Can Give To Your Guy

If you are confused about what you should gift to your guy, try gifting any of the following:

1. Perfume
2. Leather Belt
3. Watch
4. Neck Tie
5. Sunglasses

DATING TIPS

Asking Someone for a Date

It seems simple enough, but it can be the most difficult part of a date. So what do you do? Biggest clue: THINK AHEAD You don't want to be standing there going, "Um, ah." when the object of your affection says "Yes."

You can't just looked stunned and be too shocked to utter the next sentence. You can't wait for that very moment to try to think of what on earth you can do on a date. You need a more impressive beginning.

If you're at the start of a relationship or asking for a first date, take the pressure off by not using the "D" word. Don't ask for a "Date" and don't call it a "Date." If you're uncomfortable saying, "Would you like to go out with me." Then don't say it. Make it casual. But (just a reminder)THINK AHEAD. Make it specific. First - two deadly questions NOT to ask: Do not ask, "You want to go out?" it's too open-ended and can lead to awkward follow up conversation. Do not ask, "What are you doing Friday night?" It's too vague. It may leave your potential date wondering exactly what you have in mind. The other person doesn't know if you're just curious about what she/he is doing on Friday night or if you want to do something with them...

Try something along the lines of: "You like to rollerblade? I was thinking of going out to the lake on Saturday. It's great out there. Would you like to go with me?"

Or if you're really uncertain or uncomfortable about getting together - go with a group. Ask the question:

"Hey, there're a bunch of us going bowling on Saturday. Would you like to go?" The operative word here is "us." It immediately takes the pressure off.

Planning activities to do on your date and getting together in a group are good ways to go - especially if you think you or your date might get "tongue-tied."
If you're busy or there are a bunch of other people in the conversation, you won't hit awkward silences and won't have to talk all the time if you don't know your date very well.

In summary, just remember when you are asking someone out:
1) Plan ahead
Know what you are going to say AND what you want to suggest to do on the date.
2) Be specific
The other person will be much more comfortable if they know exactly what your intentions are and what you want to do.

AND try to relax and enjoy yourself - worst case - they'll say they can't go out and you'll find someone else who will. Someone who appreciates you.
In other words, if the person you are asking out doesn't have enough insight to recognize what a terrific person you are, then they're just not too bright now, are they?

Basic Kissing Tips

Basic Kissing Tips Great Breath - This is very important. Make sure you brush your teeth before going out on your date. There is nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath.

If your date consists of having something to eat before the actual kiss, make sure you have a mint on hand to take right after you finish eating. Don't take the mint just before the kiss or chew on gum. You don't want to have something in your mouth when you kiss. Moist Lips - You want your lips to be slightly moist when you kiss. Run your tongue over your lips once before you kiss. Don't wear lip gloss because that tends to make the kiss too gooey.

Yummy Lips - You want to surprise someone -- use flavored lip balm -- a delicious treat that will make them come back for more. Your lips will be soft and more kissable -- they'll get a kiss they'll never forget! Yummy Lip Balm.

And don't wear a lot of lipstick unless you want your partner to wear it too after the kiss. Slightly moist lips makes it easier to move your lips over your partner's and gives both you and your partner a more pleasant experience.

Positioning - Stand close to your partner. As the two of you move closer together tilt your head slightly. If you can see which way your partner's head is tilting, tilt your head slightly in the opposite direction.

Close Eyes - Just before your lips meet, close your eyes. Some people prefer to leave their eyes open during the kiss. But until you know what your partner prefers, it is best to close your eyes. Open Lips - Open your mouth slightly and place your lips over your partner's lips. Do not hold your breath! Breath through your nose. As your lips meet, press them gently over your partner's. You may wish to move your lips in a slow, circular motion or just leave them still over your partners. Closed Lips - This is like the type of kiss you'd give your grandma or aunt. Instead of opening your mouth when your lips meet, keep them closed. This is also a good way of letting your partner know this is as far as it goes. It also makes a great hello/good-bye kiss or a great first time kiss if you're nervous. French Kissing This is the most popular type of kiss. This involves touching your tongue with your partner's and it can be quite a pleasant experience. There are a few tips to create a great french kiss. Open Lips - Open your lips over your partner's slightly more than you would during a regular kiss. This makes it easier to place your tongue in your partner's mouth. Tongue - Place the tip of your tongue on the tip of your partner's tongue. Do not force your tongue too far into their mouth. If you wish, you can play with their tongue by circling theirs with your own. Have fun with it. Explore. Lips - You may explore different ways of using your tongue. Try running the tip of your tongue over your partner's lips. Do this slowly and gently, just using the tip of your tongue. Suck Kissing This can be a very seductive type of kiss. Instead of French Kissing with your mouth open, while your partner's lips are parted suck on their top our bottom lip with your own, just for a second or two. Then go back to another type of kiss or try the other lip. Nip Kissing This type of kiss has to be done carefully, but when done correctly can create a wonderful effect on your date. While suck kissing, gently bite their lip, but be VERY gentle so as not to hurt your date / partner. This kiss should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before, otherwise you may shock your partner. Surprise Kissing This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa or the ground, either asleep or just lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Use flavored lip balm to their surprise and delignt. Intensify the kiss until your partner opens their eyes or awakens.

Gifts you should Never give to your Girlfriend

Gifts you should Never give to your Girlfriend

Men and women are really different in many aspects: the way of thinking, their needs, expectations.

For example, gifts mean a lot to women, but we can't say the same thing about men. A woman knows how to ''read'' the message that a gift is giving, but men doesn't pay too much attention and importance to a gift.

So, choosing a right gift for a woman can be very difficult. The right gift tells her you're thoughtful, observant and you really understand her, but the wrong one can tell her just the opposite. Any gift that says you love her, that you cherish her, know her, is pretty safe. What happens if your gift doesn't transmit your real feelings for her?

A gift worth more than a thousands words for a woman. Not many of us, men, know which a bad gift for a woman is. In order to not surprise her negative with your gift, here are some gifts you should avoid buying her:

1. Insult gifts:

-Awful flowers – for women flowers have a big importance and that's why you have to realize the difference between good flowers and bad ones; if you don't know anything about flowers, you may ask a female florist to help you choose the right bouquet for your girlfriend; you don't want to go there with some flowers you may give to her grandmother, don't you?

-A cheap perfume – no matter how fancy it looks, you can't fool her; women usually know many things about the beauty products, perfumes, and which the best are

-Lingerie – is a risky bet; a lingerie made of flannel will be definitely not on her taste; you have to choose the correct size, the right style for her; you have to choose something that she likes and not what you'd like her to wear; if you didn't choose the right size, the message she will understand is or that she is too fat, or that you are insinuating she needs a breast enlargements; so, forget it

-Wrinkle cream – even if she does need it, you are not the right person to buy it; let her do it; you will make her feel old by bringing this

-Socks – are considered the most offensive and disappointing gift; most people are happy to buy their own socks; so it's not a good idea to choose

-Laser hair removal – even if you are tired of her mustache or stubbly legs, don't buy such a thing; maybe she will buy herself one from her own initiative

2. Gifts that require work:

-Cooking utensils – the message that she will understand from this gift is that her place is in the kitchen; a cookbook – might be thinking that you hate her cooking; if you want to encourage her to cook more you'd better make her some positive compliments; praise the meals she does and she will be more likely to take more of an interest in the culinary arts

-Cleaning products – as vacuum cleaners, mops, dusters, oven cleaner or other household cleaning products; she will wonder if that you consider that her place is dirty or what ; also she will understand that you see her more as a maid and not your partner

3. Things that make her feel bad about herself:

-Membership to a diet program – even if she told you that she would like to join one, it is not a good gift; she might think that you consider she is not beautiful anymore until she won't be lose weight

-Exercise equipment – it is an unpleasant way to tell her she's fat; you'd better ask her to join you at some activities such as cycling, hiking or jogging; say her that you want to do it for yourself and don't want to go alone; choose an activity that you think she would like and doesn't need an expensive equipment

-Clothes – again you may choose the wrong size, and make her feel bad; anyway, even if you have impeccable taste, clothes are a woman pleasure

4. Totally NO gifts:

-A pet – not everybody is glad to get a pet as gift, because to raise a pet involves a lot of responsibility, much work; is she said that she likes dogs that not necessarily means that she wants one; if she decides to buy a pet, let her choose one and buy herself

-A gift for yourself – like a golf set or a playstation; it will be a selfish fact; gift should be focused on what she wants and not what you want; don't assume that you have the same interest, because even if she stay and watch football games with you this doesn't mean that she wants to have soccer ball

5. Nothing

-Do not believe when she says that she doesn't need anything, because this is not true; she said this but she is expecting to receive something from you; if you appear there without a gift, you may see on her face that she will be disappointed and upset

I wish you good luck in choosing the right gift for your girlfriend and remember that you have to give her something that makes her feel special and loved; so, be thoughtful about it.

Welcome to Articles on Love

Welcome to Articles on Love

Articles on Love was created to provide a wealth of unbiased and informative articles on everything to do with Love. Articles, tips and resources will allow you to learn more about your relationships and how to achieve them from expert authors. The articles were written with the express intent of helping you learn how to Find, Keep and Understand love

ADVICE FOR MEN

Women are not like men. Many men forget that, when they enter into a romantic relationship. Women look at things differently and their choices are different. Men miss small patterns of behavior many times that can make them a big success with women. In this section, we talk about what men need to know about relationships with women to succeed and what are the common pitfalls that have to be avoided to get the woman of your dreams.

WOO HER WITH FLOWERS

Women and flowers have a love-love relationship since ages. Emperors used to order development of flower gardens just for their queens. Flowers are the eternal symbols of love. On your first date, take a bunch of flowers for your date. These need not be too expensive. Don’t take red Roses. Take yellow Roses instead if you wish to take Roses. You can take lots of other flower varieties like Tulips, Lilies, Asters, etc. Pick up a fresh, good looking bunch and present it to her.

On your second/third date, when you think you are serious about her, woo her with Orchids - which are considerably expensive. Women always love flowers. So you will be in her good books!!

CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD YET

Many men think that there is no place for chivalry these days. Girls may insist that they are independent and prefer doing things themselves. But being a little chivalrous at times never hurts. Every girl likes being treated specially. So opening the car door for your girl or pulling the chair back for her somewhere always earns you brownie points. Your girl will love you for the attention.

ARE YOU A NICE GUY

How would you describe yourself- a nice guy or adventurous, funny, alpha male? It is important to find out how people perceive you? What women think about you? Why am raising this issue- because it may matter a lot when you are asking a woman for a relationship with you. While talking, you may find that women say that they prefer a nice, home loving guy, but look around carefully. Think about which of your friends got a woman of their choice- was that friend known as a nice guy or something else? There may a subconscious appeal for adventurous guy in a woman. Or she may be looking for somebody more different- most popular guy, a sportsman, a funny guy, a strong man and so on.

Do not get blinded by what the woman you desire says. Find out what she REALLY wants. That may be different than the description she gives.

IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Relationships are complex things, but following these basics will help you make your relationships healthy and strong.

When in doubt, listen first and check to see if you have understood the other person by asking them questions. Often relationships go awry when people feel they aren’t being heard or understood and sometimes it’s important just to listen. You have to know what they want, not what you think is good for them. Listening is what helps us to find connection with each other. This also means you need to tell others what you really feel, think, and want. You can’t feel connected if you don’t voice these things.

Communicate simply when it is most critical that they hear you. Get clear in your own mind what kind of outcome you would like and try to state it in the most simple and specific terms. You will more likely be understood the more clear you can be, and often that means fewer words, not more. Sometimes repetition is necessary in getting through to someone what is really important to you.

Always show respect. Respect means listening, accepting a no when you are given one, not taking them for granted, being honest in your dealings with them, and not criticizing often or discouraging them. It is also important that you do not try to control others, and just as important that you show respect to yourself and ask that they treat you the same or be willing to walk away.

Know when it isn’t a healthy relationship. Just because you care about someone doesn’t mean you should be in a relationship with them at this time. They should be good for you, not addicted to anything, not controlling or abusive in any way, and make you feel secure and happy. It is not possible to make a relationship work with someone who doesn’t care about you, or who abuses a substance or you, so don’t try.

Seek to be good for others and don’t tear them down. People like to be with those who make them feel good and who are good for them. Lighten up and have fun together and your relationship will grow.